Writer's Block by Sasa®

It is like an earthquake when my mom died - when every bit of security and foundation you have was shaken and was left destroyed. Every now and then, just like a true catastrophic earthquake, there's an aftershock. An aftershock - in which all of a sudden I would just burst into tears just because I remember my mom is actually gone. The other day, I was watching CSI and I was helping out my dad do the cut-out for the NBA Jersey of one of our customer in our tailoring shop. We are trying to make ourselves busy. We were quite successful at the moment... I finished my task and the show soon ended. My dad switched the channel to the PBA games while he was finishing out the jersey. I turned away my eyes from the tube since I am not that interested with watching the game...My mind was left blank then after a few seconds I was crying. It was my first time to cry like that since my mom's burial. For the past few days, I was holding back my tears since my dad said so. I was being strong for him because he was the one who was crying ever since. He is devasted and I am more in pain because I know there is nothing I really could do to console him. My presence may relieve some pain but I know its not enough. Add to that my own suffering of losing my mom. So, this is what AGONY feels like.

I can still smile though, laugh or even crack my own joke. But I can not prevent the "aftershock" from happening. It's there and I know it is envitable...

To all my friends who have been reaching out to alleviate my pain, I could say nothing more but "Thank you". To Aisha who is the epitome of a best friend. Physically you might not be present and you're a thoughtless friend when it comes to little things but you know I love you dearly. I won't post here anymore what you did for me, sa ating dalawa na lang yon. Pero salamat talaga! And to Jason, yes you jase, hats of to you! I couldn't find the words to tell you how truly grateful I am for all your love and concern. I know you really don't know what to say to me but being the one I could lean on ever since my mom got sick is more than enough. You had no responsibilities to take care of my family but you chose to stay even on our darkest days and that made me love you even more!!!

"Pana-panahon ng pagkakataon, Maibabalik ba ang kahapon..."