Writer's Block by Sasa® - rants_frustrations

Never Ending Story

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Fri, 15 Jul 2005 08:29:32 +0200

I was suppose to blog about the things that happened to me these passed few days na medyo marami-raming kwento din naman kaya nga never ending story ang title ko. But unfortunately I just want to rant about what happened this morning. Kumuha ako ng business permit for our tailoring shop sa town municipal hall. It's now registered under my name. So half day ako dito sa office and halos kakarating ko lang. Everything went smoothly there. I also have a pending application for G-Flex 800 (FREE Motorola E398) parang gift ko sa sarili ko with my promotion and since it's my second line (I have G-Text 500 Motorola C651 now) I have to prove that I have another source of income besides my office job and can pay both lines. So medyo coincide naman dahil ok na yung business permit namin. Also,pinilit ko na rin makuha talaga yung permit para nga maapprove na yung application ko sa Globe. So I texted my contact in Globe, she said hindi pa daw enough yun kailangan pa daw ng credit card, savings account and income statement (of our tailoring shop). Naku nakakaasar talaga naghalfday pa ko para lang sabihin nya sa akin na hindi pa enough yun???!!! Una hindi talaga ako nagcrecredit card dahil takot ako sa utang. Wala akong passbook savings account coz I prefer to maintain an ATM account. Income Statement??? Ano ba para plan 800 lang naman yung kinukuha ko eh hindi naman platinum!!! Besides yung isang line bibigay ko naman sa dad ko. So hindi naman ako magshoshoulder nun lahat. Sa inis ko sabi ko icancel na lang nya coz I change my mind para naman kse nakakaloko as if naman ang mamahal nung inoorder ko. Nagdeposit lang kse kami sa bagong apartment na lilipatan namin on August kaya wala akong cash ngayon. Life is unfair hindi naman ako masamang tao para di mapagbigyan ang konting luho...

Happy Sad

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Fri, 01 Jul 2005 06:56:09 +0200

Mag-1 one week na pala akong di nakakapagpost. Hindi ko kse maidescribe yung mga nagyayari sa akin ngayon... Parang... parang may isang anghel sa aking labi na nakalutang sa ulap at nangingiliti.... Sigh!!! Halos lahat na yata ng system na hawak ko ay nagpapadagdag ng mga function kaya eto panay ang O.T. ko.

Kahapon naman nareceive ko na ang aking last paycheck as an MIS Staff and I am looking forward sa 15 to get my first pay check as a programmer.

Tapos the other day, inaaway na naman ako ni Jason dahil sa di ko pagsisimba. Ang kulit! Sinabi ng hindi pa ko handa. Bat ba mas mahalaga pa sa kanya yung mga sinasabi ng tao na di tama yung ginagawa ko kesa sa totoong paghilom ng sugat sa pagkatao ko. Sinabi ko naman eh, babalik din ako kailangan ko lang ng panahon. Wag na kong pilitin... I know in the end, I have to accept His plans and I need time for that. Bat nya ko tinatanong na kailangan ako magiging handa? Bat mo ba ko hinihingan ng deadline??? My foundation have been shattered into pieces and I need time to put them back together. Mahirap bang intindihin yon?

Doubting Thomas

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Wed, 25 May 2005 03:51:21 +0200

I didn't have any plans to post anything regarding this topic since it's quite sensitive but the only way I could deal my feelings regarding it was to put it into writing.

Jase is a member of the church band. He never misses a church service unless he had to. He's diligent but that's by far his contribution to His Christian faith. He had somehow lured me to be part of his church which isn't that bad at all. It took years before he convinced me to attend a service since religion was one of the serious issues I consider in life. I was baptized as a Catholic and went to Catholic school in high school and college but I was looking for something else. My brother is a member of "Ang Dating Daan" to the extent that he became a preacher but eventually gave it up when he decided to get married (the thing about my bro is another family issue) and my parents remained Catholic. While growing up, I would sporadically attend mass but there were a myriad of questions at the back of my head and the Roman Catholic Church can't answer them. So in terms of faith I was floating. I didn't actively pursue to look for answers to my questions but I know in one point or another I have to. This was the time Jase bug me to try going to their Christian Church. As I have said it took years before I gave in to his request, I just wanted a place to give thanks to the Lord. I feel that despite the fact that I have questions left unanswered, I still owe it to Him to be grateful for this life.

Then tragedy strucks more in my life, after losing our riches I had to lose my mom. I'll be lying if I tell you that my faith is unshaken. A couple of weeks after my mom died, I stopped going to church. Not because I no longer believe to our Great Divine it's just I feel that I couldn't praise Him whole heartedly which beats the purpose of being there. We gather every Sunday to give thanks to Him but I am aching so much for what happened in our lives. But Jase has been bugging me to go back. He said I am astray but I don't think I am I just need some time to heal. How come he couldn't understand it? If I want to talk to the Lord, I could --- just between the two of us. No music, no other people, no nothing just us. He said I should think about the story of Job who embraced his fate. But doesn't Jase know that Job did went through what I am going through??? He also questioned the Lord's ways after the tragedy in his life.

Jase I am not lost. I just want to deal with this alone. I am not an atheist. I just want to…

This might be the end of it...

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Tue, 10 May 2005 04:30:00 +0200

My happy blogging days are OVER!!! I think I have consumed my alloted disk space here in blogspirit... I couldn't upload anymore pictures. Geesh... it's a major bummer. I am just starting to have fun with it. The only way I could continue is to delete my other precious memoirs or pay the premium. Hope I could still work things out with blogspirit for FREE.

Please do check out http://sassytailoring.blogspirit.com if you're interested with NBA Jerseys.

Perfectionist mo mukha mo!

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Thu, 24 Feb 2005 04:24:19 +0100

There she goes, there she goes again...

Hindi katulad ng kanta na natutuwa ka dahil nandyan na naman sya. This time around, I wish I could just beat the heck out of that person for always meddling in to someone elses business. The person thinks everyone is inferior to him... Alam mo yon yung wala ng magandang nakita or nasabi sa ibang tao. I think bata pa lang mayroon na syang ginawang listahan ng standard and he thinks everyone and everything should comply to this standard. The person doesn't know the essence of the phrase "respecting the other person's opinion, belief and culture". Try kaya nating ilagay sya sa isang different environment, yung sya lang yung lalabas na queer. Yung sya lang yung lalaiitin ng ibang tao. I knew he was bad news the first time I met him...

I have heard him bad mouthing other people numerous times (and his favorite target: THE COMPANY'S SUPERIORS) and lately, it seems that his prying eye is on me. Making very uncalled-for remarks here and there. I don't know why me? Me, who is just starting to make my mark in the company. Maybe he was born to make other people loose their self-esteem. I hope I could contain myself a little longer so I wouldn't be able to say into his face how evil he had become. How cruel he is and ask how his family keeps up with his nasty habit? For crying out loud, he thinks he is a gift to mankind and ALL should just follow his principles because they are so righteous...well at least according to him.

But everyone has a flaw, just the other day I couldn't stop laughing when he said a GRAMMAR BOOBOO! Ha, ha, ha...di ba seatmate? But really I pity him, for he had probably spent his whole lifetime finding fault to everything. Isn't that exhausting? I hope you'll wake up one morning and realize how bitter you have become. And realize before you get old how beautiful life really is... I hope God would give you the sight to see the wonder and beauty even in the smallest creature and in everything around you that exist. I hope it won't be too late. Coz you never know when that time comes, you are no longer the prettiest thing on earth.

FOOTNOTE: The pronouns he, him, his - is not actually pointing to the gender of my subject. So the person could be a girl. Maybe.

Woes

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Thu, 17 Feb 2005 07:27:11 +0100

drama, drama, drama... How come I am starting to feel that I am living a soap opera-like life? Sigh...the last thing I want right now, after the death of my mom, is a complicated life. How come I am surrounded with people who seems to unload their insecurities and hang ups on me? I already have too much! Please I beg all of you to cut me some slack, will YOU!!!

The Jinx

noreply@blogspirit.com (Marissa RAMOS) — Fri, 26 Nov 2004 09:03:46 +0100

I went about my usual morning rituals today not knowing what bad fate lies ahead of me. As soon as I got into the office, I started working since I have a few deadlines to beat. One of it was the QR Filing System deadline, I have been revising its program codes and restructuring its table for over a month now. I was ready to compile its version 2 as soon as I put up the finishing touch. By the way, I am using Visual Basic 6.0 as my front-end.

I had numerous copies of the said program in my PC so since I was almost finished, I decided to delete the other unnecessary copies with SHIFT+DELETE...As I opened my current source code a dreaded error prompt before my eyes. One of my forms, the most important one, the one that I have been modifying all this time was MISSING and the path says its in that folder I deleted!!!!! Talk about bad luck.

I gathered up my thoughts and started downloading a bunch of Data Recovery Softwares available on the net. But to my despair, among all of those that I downloaded, only one can detect my missing file: THE DISKINTERNALS UNERASER 2.01. I would love to make reviews to all the utilities I have used but I am too frustrated to do that.

Anyways, I was able to restore it but the file is already corrupted... The day is not yet over and I am too exhausted to think what I should do next. I guess I have to start from scratch again. How pathetic... Sigh!